rambling

Oops, Time Moves Fast

A heartfelt hello to you all, and how have you been? Good, I hope. I thought it had been a very long time since I updated this blog, but it’s only been a little more than a month … not such a bad break, in the grand scheme of things. Still, I do feel bad for leaving you in the dark (whoever you may be, if you happen to follow this half-assed blog with any sort of dedication), so here I am to shine a light on some of my life for the last month or so.

I made a big deal out of working two jobs and pushing myself to my limits and all that fancy jazz, but full disclosure, I quit that first job as soon as I found out I can put my student loans on forbearance. What that means is that I don’t have to make my usual monthly payment while I work my new job, so I can stretch my meager funds to cover my expenses without too much worry. I had grand visions of saving a decent chunk of change, but I’d rather have free time than extra money … I can make ends meet, and still enjoy myself on the weekends. So, life is pretty good on that front.

There’s one front that’s giving me a run for my money, however: the transportation front. Long story short, I’ve driven two cars to the brink of breaking down completely, and I can’t get to work with either of these poor scrap piles on wheels. One barely accelerates beyond 20 miles an hour without trouble, and the other sputters and dies after a few minutes of drive time. Both cars are over 20 years old, and now that I don’t have a ton of extra money, finding any sort of replacement vehicle has been difficult, to say the least.

And yet, I’m not as worried as I thought I would be. Finding ways to get to and from work has been a little frustrating, sure, but I’ve found that my co-workers and my family have been incredibly understanding and helpful when it comes to ride assistance. I don’t want to rely on the kindness of others forever, though, so I’m looking for some sort of car that will get me to and from work without trouble.

They’re funny, the things we do to convince ourselves we’re capable. I used to be super possessive of my first car, thinking that I needed a vehicle of my own to be “responsible” or “whole.” Over the years I’ve met people who swap rides, carpool, pool money together for Uber or Lyft assistance, bike to work, et cetera … my point is, owning a car isn’t the only way to get anywhere. Still, I do like the freedom of having my own mode of transportation, so I strive to get another car. A newer, stronger car. I want to get to and from work without stressing the whole damn time.

Then there’s the D&D. Oh yeah, there’s a shitload of D&D. I’ll list the campaigns in which I’m involved:

  1. Saltmarsh – This one is the simplest one to cover, ’cause we all meet up at my and my brother’s apartment and play for about four hours every Sunday. Sometimes we skip a week here and there, but we try to stay consistent.
  2. Mad Mage – This one started as Dragon Heist, but our group pushed through that and kept on going right into the next adventure. I head to my homie’s house for this one, and it’s a bit of a drive, but I try my best to make it as often as I can.
  3. Pathfinder – Yep, I’ve jumped headfirst into a different edition of D&D just for funzies. Actually, the dude who wanted to try Pathfinder is a friend and roommate of my homie who runs the Mad Mage campaign, so I already know the group and trying something new with them is pretty fun.
  4. Lost Mine of Phandelver – So this one is an interesting split. On the one hand, I’m a player in a group that is very deliberately plodding through this introductory adventure; we go slow because two of our members live far away and we only want to play when we can all get together. Still, even after a year and a half of intermittent playing, we have a great time when we get together. Then there’s the other hand, where I finally tried to DM for the first time. I set up an introductory session for brand new players, thinking I would guide my new friends through character creation before they got tired and went home around 11 or midnight. Boy, was I wrong; my new friends were so eager to play that they ditched their half-made characters for pre-made characters and started rolling dice. I was stoked they wanted to play that much, and I think I did a good job of DM’ing, ’cause these folks were at my apartment until 4 A.M. I was tired as hell after all of it, but I felt accomplished. Giddy, even; I want to keep running that adventure, but we’ll see how all that goes.

Wow, I’ve rambled on and on about D&D for a long-ass time now, but as you can tell by my four-ish campaigns, I’m stoked on D&D right now. My dice collection is growing, and I just backed a super rad dice maker on Kickstarter. It’s the time of year when people spend a bit of money on themselves, so I figure I can get away with some rad purchases. My nerd heart is happy, and when those dice are complete, I’ll have a badass set to roll for years to come.

Life changes a lot, when things are going right, and every change gives me an opportunity to learn and to grow. I’ve been put through a good number of challenges over the past few months, but I face them as best I can and I ask for help when I need it. I think I’m learning to value the people who genuinely care about me, and I’m sharing a lot more about myself and my troubles than I used to. I think the biggest thing is that I don’t feel stagnant anymore; I’m moving constantly and learning to dance to the new beats that life plays for me, and I enjoy it. Things can be tough, but they’re not so tough that I give up. Here’s to resolve: may it keep us steady when changing winds threaten to topple us.

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